The card "Heal the Ouch" is sitting in the second position of the week's spread. The butterfly/transformation.
What item in our life is wanting to be whole again?
The thought to just give up. To feel like the words are being shoved back into your mouth. To not speak up. To now raise your hand. Is this also a form of healing?
What happens to us when we keep things inside of us? The pain. The emotions. The unapproved methods that we deal with at work. Why do we, as humans, think that we are not allowed to question the process of things at work?
If you do not speak up, then nothing changes. Do you ever find yourself tired of always being the voice that speaks up and states "this is wrong!" or "I do not understand" or "Why?"
Others want you to just do it. Take the information being given and simply perform. Remember the card yesterday spoke of being the one ring circus. You have to take on many forms this week and today I am taking on the form of the "Illusionist".
In order to heal one self, they must first understand what is ill. Even the most corrupt person requires sympathy and compassion. Actually compassion is the highest form of love, and in turn love heals everything.
Acceptance of our shadow side is required, in order to become whole again. Actually, I was reading the comic book Willow for season 9 of Buffy. All magic is destroyed in our reality, and in turn Willow embarks on a journey into other realms to find a way to bring back magic.
Willow, in past seasons, turned evil at one point, due to losing her beloved Tara. She returned to her normal self and still struggled with the acceptance that she may turn evil again. On her journey she discoveries that there is no separate evil Willow. That there is always a positive and shadow side to a person and is it up to us to choose which one we will become throughout the day.
Our shadow side is only wanting to be noticed. To exist. Just like a child, when it seeks any sort of attention.
What attention do you want?
What attention do you require?
Temperance would be associated to this Archetype known as Healing the Ouch. There must always be a balance of light and dark. One must process the anger within them. The frustration that builds as you move forward. The regret that lingers in the dark.
Transformation can only happen when you accept what is being given at this very moment in time. Transformation only takes place when you allow change to move forward. One simply yearns to be beautiful again, or rather to be that beautiful person that they have seen creep out every so often.
Sometimes memories are set forth into our mind, in order to bring us back to reality. In order to help us recognize that we are beautiful. Even if the memory is bad or something we are trying to forget.
I woke up this morning with a memory in my mind. One that I am choosing to forget, due to the nature of it.
Do you ever get the feeling that you are doing so much just to keep your head above water?
Have you ever felt like you have taken on too many tasks in your life and you want to give something up,because our spirit is telling us that we are losing vital energy, and you do not listen? You keep on going, frustrated to no end, and yet you still complain that nothing is working out in your favor?
Do you hold onto things because you think that if you do not finish the task then you would be looked at as a failure?
What does that mean?
Do you think that Source looks upon us and states, "Please take on more than you can chew, because I want to see you stress, love a little less, feel like you are not worthy, and give up all that you can, in order to suffer a little bit more."
I think that we have suffering down to a T.
Do you ever feel like you are doing so much for people around you, and that you love doing it for them, but find out that they simply take advantage of the situation. They seem to take the joy out of compassion and giving. Maybe it is me. Maybe I am taking the joy and love out of the compassion part, by putting a standard on it. What if your whole being is stating to you to let go. Stop doing what you are doing, because if not, then the boat will surely sink.
Sink into what?
Who would have thought that Sacrifice would really require you to bleed.
Do you ever feel like you have worked too hard for what you have now, and you just simply sit by and watch it all turn to dust. How you see that strong and wonderful person disappear every day. A small essence of some sort, wisp off into the Universe. Do you know what it feels like to be powerful, and then have that power leave you a little every day?
Sometimes I feel like the healing part of life is much more painful than the wound itself. What can one do in this situation?
Maybe Source is trying to tell us something. To get up and keep on moving. To get up and stop complaining. To do something about it.
What do we do?
Do we keep on thinking that others will judge us, or state to us that we shall never succeed unless we keep on going?
I think there are moments in my life when I am tired of dealing with another person in my life. Sometimes it is just easier to make decisions based on who I am. It will not effect anyone else if I travel at the speed of love, and not wait for the other person to catch up. Sometimes I feel like I am being tied down, spiritually, with the advancement of my spiritual growth. Sometimes I feel like I am letting myself be influenced by others. To stop searching. To stop moving forward.
Sometimes the healing needs to begin with the statement "I exist" or "I am not happy".
I am not happy with work. I am not happy with who I am becoming. I am simply not happy.
Maybe I need to do some soul searching? To really just step back, have five God-damn minutes to myself, meditate, and really ask the question "What do I want?"
I want to recognize the person I use to be. I want to go home. Find home again. Even now I sit and cry a little, because home is what I make of it. Home is always here, right in my heart. What if home felt distant because I traveled a little to far out from it. Maybe it is time to find my center again. To really think about what I need and what I want. To do what I wish to do and not think about anything else in the process. Maybe I have to have the thought pattern that if I take care of me, then others will also be taken care of by Source. Maybe I have to really start looking out for my life, before I can proceed to aid others.
Do you ever feel like you are simply speaking words to someone and they just keep coming out, kind of like when Source speaks to us. We hear it. We listen. But do we always take the message to heart. What happens when we do not listen? Well we find out that in the end, Source was simply wanting to be acknowledged. If you state to someone that you do not like this or that. If you state to someone every day that you do a task in this manner, because of this outcome, then do you think they should listen and respond in the same manner as you?
Probably not. We all have our own way of walking the path to love and light. We all have different tools in our pocket. What should two souls do when they are not speaking the same language?
Transformation is painful. There has to be a struggle in order to become new. In order to become that wonderful you...