After traveling for many miles from California to Texas, I find myself sitting in my new apartment. I am not just a drive away from family and friends. I was not wanting to write for about a good two weeks, as a matter of fact I debated with myself on whether I should write anything at all for the rest of my life. I was happy to be alive. I was ready to live. I was living my good life, even though my Ego was advising me that surely I would miss California too much and want to move back. I stand now at my crossroad. I find that when I am happy, I tend to give up on my schedule. When I am influenced, I tend to give up on taking care of myself. I deviate from what is known, even though at this moment I need it the most in order to keep me from wanting to return home. Remember in my past entries, I advise us to really find out what home means to us. Where can it be found?
It is within all of us and we carry it with us all the time. We find out that home is where we lay our head at night, it is where we love, learn, and dance. Home is always there and you can return to it every time you close your eyes and center yourself. Home is within that acknowledgment of Source is within us and we are part of Source. No separation required.
Saying that, the energy is about how we sometimes forget to take care of our energy. We are willing to give it away, we are willing to hold onto things that have no concern and meaning in our life. Sometimes we have to let go of everything associated with the past, in order to move forward within our future. We are strong, and in the process of understanding this, we can get lost within our own devices and traps. What traps have you set up on your path?
The laws of the Universe are simple. All thoughts and energy you put out, you get back times three. If you put out the thought of "I will get to it later" or "I know this is not good for my spirit, but I am allowed to have fun", then there will surely be a consiquence that you will have to deal with either in a few minutes or a few years. What are you cultivating?
My advise is to take care of yourself. Go for that walk without your significant other. Remember what you use to do when you were single, that was healthy and kept you on the track of meeting your goal, and do it. Return to the charts and schedules that got you to the point where you are at now. For with every great action, there must be work put behind it in order to keep it going.
I have been feeling off centered lately and I know it is because I have been lazy. I stopped working out because I thought my neighbors could hear me jumping around, well who cares if they can. They can probably hear me walking around, so what is ten minutes of sparatic jumping going to do to them.....nothing. Why am I choosing to stop living?
Do not let others influence your routine and also your state of being. You have control, now take it.