Funny Feeling

Today I decided to see if I could make contact with two spirits for a client. They are alive and I tried to get information regarding what is happening. Hmmmm. Now I feel kinda wonkers. It is this feeling...like something is happening in a different place and I am experiencing it through my Aura. Muzzled. Blurry. I feel as if my spirit is a few seconds behind from my body. Walking through the spirit world can get kinda fuzzy. You pass through a spiritual plane that can take a toll on your Aura.

I find...

I find this power inside of me burning at times. Itching to be released. I do not know if it is excess energy just wanting to be released or something more. I do not focus on Love anymore. That is, love from another man. The day use to be filled with the dreams of what my new relationship will be like. If that person on the street is him. Now I simply think of...well, nothing really. There are my dreams and goals, but I am at a point in my life where I know they will happen. There are no ifs, ands, or buts.
I find myself looking into the sky and a sense of hope comes over me. We are not alone. Source is always there.

Choose!

Ideas. They drive us into the unknown. To simply think and not act is easy. To think and act is hard. You have to move. Move to an unsafe and unexplored place. You feel like the room is dark and you are taking baby steps, hoping you will see light. Really the light is all around you and inside of you. It is about an inch from your sight, but we think that the unseen is darkness.

I think that the unseen is white. Empty. Full of colors that are ready to be picked and used to paint with.
Choose a color.
Bright or Grim. Dark or solid.
Choose!
Who cares if it is off beat or clumsy. Take it and paint your idea on the canvas. Form it or leave it it unformed.



Just Be!



It just hit me. I feel like there should be some sort of big boom, tapping, or nail hitting sound going on inside of me. Letting me know that things are in motion. Really this does not need to happen. Sometimes it is the quite tip toes, or ninja like movements, that turn into wonderful creations.

How I Feel.

I woke up today with such joy in my heart. I lit candle to St. Jude and also to my Grandma Emilia. I miss her so much. There is so much that I could have learned from her, but she is with Source now. Sometimes I think that she has come back to me in the precious vessel Tribecca, but that is just wishful thinking. I want to know what I want to do! This is the statement that will bring me answers.

I want to know what steps to take next! I want to be a positive person to those around me! I want to learn Brujeria or Mexican Folk Magic from a great teacher!



There is this great want inside of me. I can feel the wind telling me to go....go....go....



I sit at work and wonder. What am I working towards? What am I really wanting to do? Now that you have your freedom, clients, and strength - What do you want to do?



I think it will be revealed to me soon enough. In notes. In letters. In spirit.

- Auraspark

The Snow

Yesterday I drove to a friends house in the snow with no chains on my tires. I arrived safe and sound but as I drove up the snow began to fall. It fell all day long and I was subjected to feeling
stranded. I felt like I had no choices. I had no car. I tried to understand what all of it ment. Why this had happened. I tried to leave but the snow did not permit me to. I couldnt even move my car. Looking back on it now I noticed that I have many questions that need to be answered. I want to understand what it is that I really want. I am tired of making decisions based off of my instincts. I can finally think about what I truly want and where I truly want to go. I find myself always running. I find myself always moving, but really I feel like I am just sitting there as time passes me by. The people and the scenary are just a blur. I wait. I wait for it to all catch up and finally grab me by the hand to take me where I am to be. I came to a conclusion that I need to start looking at myself and find my beauty. I need to treat myself as if I am that great person who everyone is seeing. I know sometimes I can be nasty. I know that sometimes I shut down and I look like I am mad but really I am contemplating what is happening within me. I try to not take out my aggression on others and stay as calm as possible. I find that it can be hard at times becuase I am frustrated. Does anyone really understand what I am going through at this time. I see others walking the path that I am walking but they are on different sides of the track. I can wave at them but it seems like there is a river between us. The whole gay thing comes into play. I feel like I am always judged...