Friday 8.30.13:
The card of the day is The Devil. The hidden energy card is The Star. The card sits in the position of Fire Opal = sensuality and confidence.
When I see the Devil card, my mind begins to wander, and in turn I start to think of my gift of emotional eating.
When I first started out on my journey, to lose weight and be healthy, I started with a single step. The chains that sat around my wrist were placed there by my current state of thinking.
This is how a lot of things that hold us back are created. You tie the rope around your waist that is attached to the boulder. Sometimes that boulder can turn into a mountain.
You think, "when will I ever break free?"
I would always state, "Today I will surely eat right, exercise, and lose this weight."
I was tired of the current shape of my vessel.
I could see the true Aaron inside of all the excess skin and fat.
I needed to be true to my current self. I had to stop lying. I had to stop the action of "eating my feelings away".
I associate the Devil card to weight loss because sometimes the only thing standing in our way of losing weight is the inner dialogue within our head.
I had to break free. I had to make a choice. To be happy or unhappy. Of course I want to be happy. I had to recognize that I was in control and that no one can stop me but me.
I had to get up and work out five days a week, even when I did not feel like it. I had to have self control when eating and also work through my own crap. Food was not the answer.
Of course there are times when I feel like grabbing a dozen donuts and eating them all. Of course I want to eat carbohydrates and be like all them skinny bitches who can eat what they want and not gain a pound.
I simply have to look at food and I gain a pound. Blah!
The Devil card can creep in and advise me, "You know what will make you feel better? If you went out and ate pizza."
Now eating pizza will not kill me nor will it take me back to the weight I once was. What will make me gain weight is the lack of self control. Once I get the taste of carbohydrates (I mean bad carbs like white bread and sweets) in my belly, then I go hog wild and I eat all the sweets I want. My thought at the time is "I eat right, so I deserve it".
Oh little Devil card.
This is the only way that I can relate the Devil card to everyday circumstances. Eating is the only temptation I have in this life.
The cards are advising us to keep our eye on the goal. I was once told by a good friend, named Dana Handbury, that when you fall off of your diet and begin to eat everything in site, you just simply advise yourself that they are all vegetables, and keep on moving.
I do wake up the next morning feeling guilty and also I have a major food hang-over. Do you know what that feels like?
It is not fun. Sometimes I simply want to give up the constant battle with weight and eat everything in site. Then again what would that get me?
More weight.
When things are not working out in your favor, do not turn to the negative side of things. Turn to the positive. Have compassion for that which you do. If you fall of your wagon (and falling off of your wagon can be anything, such as over shopping, eating, drinking, sex, etc.) and find yourself spiraling downward, understand that you create the momentum of movement. You can always change the direction. You can always break free from your self created glass box. The change can be small. It can be simple. You may fall off your spiritual bike many times but the greatest gift you could give your self is getting back on it.
Tomorrow is a new day. Have the confidence that you are in control. The Devil card is not bad. It teaches us about the obstacle that is in front of us. The obstacle that you have created. So look at your weakness as vegetables and keep on moving.
Blessed Be.
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