Sunday 4.28.13:
The Vicious Cycle of gaining weight and losing weight is always in the back of my mind. I am looking to relate the card known as The Universe, to the energy of today. I could only think of one thing. My ability to try so many crash diets, lose a couple of pounds, and then proceed to reward myself with a full weekend of eating unhealthy...Can this really be associated with the the tarot card "The Universe"?
Of course. This card sits in the position of Bee/Forgiveness/Compassion. The hidden energy card is The Hanged Man.
I am going to state that I am only five pounds over my average weight. Actually, my story begins three years ago. I was very overweight and was always depressed, thinking that I would never fall in love with anyone, or rather, no one would fall in love with me. Then I was advised by my spirit guide to go on a journey. A journey to find Aaron. I decided to lose the weight, get healthy, and find the person who mattered the most...my self. I went on a strict diet at first, then found that the diet started to become a way of life for me. It was all that I knew and understood. I would go out and enjoy myself with out the over indulgence of eating food, drinking alcoholic beverages, and tasteful sweets. I could say "No" to things that were placed before me and become an example for those who also were looking to simply eat healthy and exist. Beauty was no longer about how skinny I was, but it turned into how beautiful I really am. The pounds started to come off, because my attitude also changed, into one of being comfortable with the person I once was. Before all the failed relationships, ups and downs of life, and the detours on the path of life. The person who I once knew to be independent, strong, and beautiful.
I feel wonderful and great, now, and find that when I splurge a little on sweet temptations, I can lose the weight again. I am not going to return to the 230 pounds of unhappiness. The cycle ends and begins again. This is the Universe at work. We find the end of the rainbow...now what? Well, I know that I will surely go searching for another one. The greatest joy is always found on the path to the rainbow. The people you meet, the places we rest at, and the family that you reconnect with, again.
Maybe the forgiveness should be with the way we let our Ego treat us? Maybe we should have a little bit of splurge, in order to understand what insanely full feels like? Maybe we need to forgive our state of "always being in control", so that we can be able to return to that which we know. That we are beautiful. That the cycle must have an ending, in order to move into the new. Diets will always be there. There will always be something new to try, so that the last five pounds will surely disappear. Maybe it is the fun of trying something new that appeals to me? Maybe it is my spirit, longing to teach me, that I am still beautiful. Even if I gain five extra pounds.
I have not lost the spirit within me that states "I am beautiful!".
Blessed Be.
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