Sunday 6.23.13:
Another week has gone by and the energy was about victory.
What did you win?
I recently put five dollars into a vending-machine, to pay for a $.75 bag of peanuts, and received everything in quarters. I yelled out "I won!"
No one was around to hear me, but just the fact that it felt like a casino slot, made me smile and think about what I really had won. Sometimes the victory of one battle is simply a degree of winning, by evening out. The same amount of deaths on either side and same amount of Van-damage.
We put so much energy and time into something, that when it produces a "pay out", we think that we are ahead. This is not always the case.
There are times when you have to come to an agreement in order to move forward with your life, due to the opposing side having the same amount of force and power, causing a stand still.
An agreement must be made in order to reach your goal. The answer can sometimes be the act of agreeing to disagree, and walking away.
What are you walking away from?
How much time and money you have put into the battle?
I use to think that if I put enough energy and compassion into a relationship, then surely they will see just how spectacular I am, and want to never leave my side. Silly Mystic, unobtainable men are for kids.
I use to over analyze every move that I made. I use to over think every reaction the other person would give me.
He did not respond to my text. That means he is getting tired me. That means that he does not want to talk to me. What do I do?
Oh the endless chatter in my mind. I have to calm my crazy ass down and state "All is as it should be". I came to the understanding that I am worthy of great things. If that person is not part of it, then so be it. I had to let go. Have compassion for the pitfalls and booby-traps I was placing on my own path, back tracking to the start, stepping into one, and screaming "How could this happen?"
I want to share a shadow side of me. I use to go after men who were unobtainable because I knew that it would never work out. The Mystic thought he was safe if the end result was pain and heartache. How quickly the men in my life would latch onto my compassion. They understood that I would sacrifice every ounce of light I had within me, to make sure they were okay.
I was creating my own down fall.
I came to realize this pattern within my life and had to really let it go. To state "I am worthy of a healthy relationship, with a man who will treat me just as wonderful, as I treat him."
I had to speak of clarity. I knew that I was this spectacular person who had so much to give. That wonderful man had to be a vessel that would be able to transmute the energy, I had to give, and in turn reflect it right back into my heart Chakra. He needed to be my compliment.
The real key is to stop the endless chatter in your head. Focus.
Focus on the moment you live within. The flower will grow much faster than the worry weed that you have been watering. Believe me, it is so wonderful to find that wonderful person who thinks the world of you. It is not rare. You have to start with the acceptance of who you really are and loving the very vessel that you sit within.
Blessed Be.
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